What A Horrible World
by Jasmini
Summary: He was a geeky five year old boy who liked playing video games and watching Star Trek. She was a cute, pink little girl, who was overly girly. He found her annoying. She found him boring. But these two grew up and fell in love. NXM TWOSHOT
1. Love is for Losers

AN: Hi people this is my first oneshot. it kinda wasn't supposed to be a Gakuen Alice fic. Its more of a diary entry of mine. That's right, this is my love story. Its all true, every single word of it, so in a sense this is a way for you guys to get to know me a little better. The person speaking was supposed to be me, but you can feel free to picture its Mikan talking about Natsume. Also there are questions at the end of the story so if you don't mind if you have any idea on the answer plz let me know. I'm kinda desperate. Well anyway if your reading this PLEASE REVIEW!! I don't care if your just gonna review to tell me you read the story just please review, or else I'll start to think that my own life is boring which is pretty sad. okay here you go

What A Horriblle World

Mikan's POV:

The thought of him brings tears in my eyes. If someone was to ask me, what's my dream guy I would think of him immediately. Not his face, no he's definitely not my type if you look at the guys I've liked in the past. It's his personality. The way we enjoy the same pastimes and laugh at the same things. The way his laugh echoes in my memory. But that's all I have to go on. Memory. I daydream of a time when we could be together, but it wouldn't matter anyway. He doesn't see me that way in the slightest.

If I could just know what it feels like to be in those arms, or feel his lips on mine. It would be my first and surely my best kiss.

I guess it's a curse for all girl's first loves to be unrequited, but why. Why him? Why my soul mate? He seemed meant for me, we like the same things, we have the same habits, it just doesn't seem right. In a world where everything goes the way it should, we would meet one summer and he would just look into my eyes and know I'm the one for him. But I guess the universe is out of wack because he seems to notice every other girl except me. Yep, there's definitely something wrong with the universe, or else everything I go through is a sign I should become a nun.

That's right; the girl in front of you has the worst luck with guys on the planet. Imagine, in this day and age being 15 and still never receiving your first kiss. Pathetic right? Wrong! I'm far from being a loser, in fact when I told my closest friends, my deep, dark, secret, most of them frankly were shocked. (Except one of them who's been with me since I was 9)

So why is it when I finally fall in love, it has to be with a guy who'll never learn to love me back. Why is it that, whenever I like a guy, they always come to ME for advice on how to get some girl to like them. Am I cursed? Am I not supposed to be happy? DOES THE WORLD REALLY WANT ME TO BE A NUN? My Prince Charming already has his princess. And that's a reality I'll just have to face.

But once more I gotta wonder why? Why did I have to fall so hard? Why did he have to unknowingly break my heart?

Whoever said that there was such a thing as love at first sight was full of crap. Love is something that happens gradually. We all know it wasn't her sparkling personality that caught your attention, nor was the thought 'Hey, maybe if I go up to her I can have a nice intellectual conversation with her.' present in your mind. Bull shit, you were thinking about how nice her ass was and girls you were picturing him naked. That's why I don't buy into the whole Romeo and Juliet thing. Ladies, gentleman, if there are any of you out there that actually believe that you would kill yourself over someone you knew for a week, I need to check you into the nearest asylum, cause there's definitely something wrong with you.

Oh I'm way off topic, so anyway I didn't fall for him at first sight, heavens no. He was a geeky five year old who liked video games and I was a pink little five year old who still believed that she was a princess and was gonna be picked up by her real parents and marry some handsome prince. (Kinda like in that Rugrats episode) I had a candidate for my prince too. A boy in my kindergarten class name Matthew (hey you never know maybe he got separated from his real parents too) I wanted a pink house, with a pink door, with a pink car, with a pink, pink, pink…etc. But alas, that pink little girl grew up to a purple young lady, liking rock music, anime, going to concerts, and writing poetry. Yep I did a total 180. In fact when I told my friends what I was like when I was little they almost didn't believe me. But after I told them what my favorite song was when I was five, they did believe me. (Look at us now by Sarina Paris) So anyway I'm WAY off topic right now. We were total opposites, night and day, light and dark, white and black, etc. Then he moved away. We didn't see each other for four years and honestly I completely forgot about him. He wasn't present in my mind at all. Then at a random time when I was 12 I met him again when we went to the place he moved to. And no I didn't like him then either so don't get your hopes up thinking that this little tirade is almost over. When I saw him again I was in my first stages of my transition form pink to purple, (probably one of those gay colors women invent like cream) so I admired him. I thought it was cool that he was his own person and stood out from the crowd. Over the years every summer my family would visit his. As I furthered along my own transition, the admiration I had for him changed into like, and that like turned into love. So here I am now head over heels for this guy, who thinks I'm his friend, when in actuality I'm madly in love with him and trying desperately to forget about him. I mean how do you confess your feelings to a guy you don't even see on a bi-weekly basis? How do you confess your feelings to a guy who's literally a summer love? (An annual summer love) How do I get over him and move on? If you have the answers to my questions people let me know, because honestly I'm through with being taunted by his memory. I'm through with dreaming about him every time I close my eyes. I'm through with smiling out of thin air, and putting my name and his last name on my notebooks. To put it simply, I'm tired of being a lovesick idiot. Well as the saying goes "Love is for losers". Too bad I'm one of them.

AN: Well be sure to let me know what you think please, remember I don't wanna believe that my own life is boring whimper okay thanks for reading


	2. And I'm One of Them

Hiya People. This was originally a oneshot I know but I decided that it deserved to be continued, not for my sake but for Mikan's. I mean it's her fanfic right so I

figured she deserves a happy ending so this is my way of giving it to her. This is completely fiction but is based on what actually happened. Natsume is in a way a

blend of the guy I like and his original personality. I wanted to make it sound like Natsume but have a little of the guy I like too just because originally that's what

the fic was. So here's Natsume's POV

* * *

What a Horrible World

Natsume's POV

Okay so I've known this girl for practically all my life. Our father's are best friends so we were often forced to see each other as kids, and I gotta say when I first

met her I hated her guts. She was annoyingly cute (meant in a bad way) and always wore the girliest clothes. She would nitpick at her food and hardly eat a nibble.

It's no wonder she was so tiny. She always would sit there bored while I would play my video games, and then when I finally listened to my father and played a

game we both could play, she would always lose. I mean sure I had superior gaming abilities but surely she could win at least one game, the stupid girl. She was

just someone I was obligated to play with so I never became more close to her than knowing her name. Mikan. When I was nine I had to move away. I was so sad

that I had to leave my hometown because I would miss my friends so much. I didn't even think of her at all, she was the last person on my mind. So I moved and

four years past. To be completely honest, I forgot she existed. I mean sure my dad still talked to her dad on the phone and I heard him talk about her sometimes

but I could never tie a face to her name. So then when I was twelve my dad told me they were coming to see us while they were on vacation. I couldn't care less,

but my father told me to stay home that day. I was mad. I had already made plans with my best friend Ruka. I told him this, so he just told me to bring Ruka over to

our house. I sighed but then I agreed. When Ruka came over I braced him for the worst. From what I could remember about my dad's friend's daughter, I would be

bored and annoyed the entire night. But when they came I was completely shocked. THIS was the girl who had annoyed me when I was little. She was so cute--but

this time in a good way. She was pretty and shy and struggled just to say hi. This girl certainly didn't nitpick at her food like I remembered; she probably could've

swallowed a whale if she could. Ruka and I watched from a distance while she ate. "Are you sure that she's annoying, she looks fine to me. Plus she's so pretty." I

got mad for some reason at this. "She's mine." I told him with a serious look. "You didn't call dibbs." he said slyly. "I just did." I said with a triumphant smile. He

huffed, "FINE." When she got out of her shy spell and began talking I realized how cool she was. She showed that she was honestly interested in the things I

showed her. She was a lot of fun too. When it was time for her to leave for home I was sad. I knew that I liked the girl and that I wanted to see more of her, but

she lived on the other side of the country, so I let it go. Every summer she would come to visit and I would like her more and more. She seemed to be changing as

the years past and soon she was into the same things I was. Then it hit me. I was in love with this girl. It didn't matter though, I only saw her for two weeks every

year, what chance did I possibly have of her liking me. I mean for all I know she wasn't even my friend so much as an acquaintance. It hurt. It hurt to know that

there was a possibility that the girl I was in love with didn't care about me one bit. So began to distance myself. When I knew she would be coming to visit I would

be visiting family somewhere at the same time. For a long time it carried on that way till two years went by without me so much as talking to her. I still couldn't

forget her though, she was like a disease that invaded me and took control of me. I tried my best to move on and I even began to date other girls in the hopes of

forgetting her, but it just didn't work. Then out of the blue I got an instant message from someone I didn't know. I looked at it, and it was her. I couldn't believe it.

How did she even remember my screen name? She said that she been adding random screen names and that she was thinking about friends who lived out of

state, that's when she remembered my screen name. Let's just say that it was as obvious as my name with a few numbers. But that didn't matter. She had thought

of me, I couldn't believe it. I'm pretty sure that that conversation we had was pretty boring because I was too nervous to respond more than 'lmao' or 'mhmm'. But

she still kept trying to talk to me, and eventually we were having full conversations. As time went on I realized I actually had a chance. It came up in one

conversation we had on Valentines Day. She said she didn't believe in it, and that she thought it was a fake holiday. I was surprised to hear that because most of

the girls I knew loved Valentines Day. We had a whole debate on it, and then she indirectly told me that she really never had any guy give her something on

Valentines Day, so she gave up on the holiday because it was too disappointing. It was then that I realized I had a chance. She was used to being disappointed so

if she found out I liked her maybe she would give me a chance. I know that sounds bad, but I needed some reassurance. Plus she obviously cared enough about

me to gather her courage and talk to me even though it might've been weird. I decided that, I was going to tell her how I felt. I may be putting my heart on the

line, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. I can't wait for next summer.

* * *

And that's the end of it. I actually did gather the strength to talk to him online. It was not exactly the hardest screename to remember, it was so simple. And we

actually did have a discussion on Valentines Day. The only thing is, in the actual conversation he told me he had a girlfriend. I almost died on the spot, and I cried

for about an hour straight. But I was strangely okay with it; most of me just wanted him to be happy. Well anyway that's the end of that. Mikan gets Natsume, and

that's how it should be. )


End file.
